Friday, November 12, 2010

WE, LIKE SHEEP

According to Answers.com, sheep are:
  1. timid, fearful, easily panicked
  2. dumb, stupid, gullible
  3. very vulnerable to fear, frustration, pests, hunger
  4. easily influenced by a leader, by the shepherd
  5. stampede easily, vulnerable to mob psychology
  6. little of no means of self-defense; can only run
  7. easily killed by enemies
  8. the shepherd is most effective, calming influence
  9. jealous, competitive for dominance
  10. constantly need fresh water, fresh pasture
  11. have very little discernment in choosing food or water
  12. best water source is early morning dew
  13. perverse, stubborn - will insist on their own way, even eating poisonous plants or drinking dirty water
  14. easily "cast" - flipped over on their back, unable to right themselves and will die of starvation if not turned over by the shepherd; helpless
  15. frequently look for easy places to rest
  16. don't like to be sheared, cleaned
  17. too much wool can cause sheep to be easily 'cast'
  18. creatures of habit; get into "ruts"
  19. need the most care of all livestock
  20. need to be "on the move"; need a pre-destined plan, pattern of grazing
  21. totally dependent of shepherd for every need
  22. need "rod and staff" for guidance

"We all, like sheep, have gone astray,
each of us has turned to his own way;
and the Lord has laid on Him
the iniquity of us all."

— Isaiah 53:6

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

MARTIN LUTHER

"I labored diligently and anxiously as to how to understand Paul's word in Romans 1:17, where he says that the righteousness of God is revealed in the gospel. I took it to mean that righteousness whereby God punishes the unrighteous, and I had no confidence that my merit would assuage him.

Then I grasped that the righteousness of God is that righteousness which through grace and sheer mercy God gives us by faith. Thereupon I felt myself to be reborn and to have gone through open doors into paradise. The whole of Scripture took on a new meaning, and whereas before the "justice of God" had filled me with hate, now it became to me inexpressibly sweet in greater love. This passage of Paul became to me a gate to heaven... When I saw the difference, that law is one thing and gospel is another, I broke through..."

— Martin Luther (on his conversion)

Thursday, November 4, 2010

THE SECRET TO QUALITY

"All the texting and friending may expand the number of people in one's life, but the links do not enrich the quality of the arrangements . . . It takes an evolving awareness of the differences that naturally develop between two individuals, and a commitment to allow those differences to take root, so that common connections grow into singular bonds. The open secret to this process is time."

— Artist Paul Chan suggests the antidote to the alienation of contemporary life in the face of social, political, and environmental collapse, in the context of the collaborative, community-oriented process involved in his restaging of Samuel Beckett's play Waiting For Godot (1848-49) on the streets of New Orleans shortly after Hurricane Katrina. His work (and many others) is on view in MoMA's reinstallation of its Contemporary Galleries until Summer 2011.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

THE ART OF FAILURE

I never do this. I never blog about something I read for school. This article called "The Art of Failure" by MALCOLM GLADWELL, however, got my wheels turning and I've been meaning to blog about it. Everyone knows about his Bestsellers (Outliers, Tipping Point, Blink, etc.) but this article was written back in August 2000 for the The New Yorker under 'Performance Studies'. A decade later, it's still so relevant today.

In summary, Gladwell talks about how we're all living in an age that's obsessed with success, with looking for ways to understand how talented people overcome their challenges. However, we rarely look at the way people fail. Why some people choke and others panic; if there's even a difference. And if there is, what do they say about us--about who we are and how we think?

After conducting numerous case studies, he concludes that choking is when, in times of stress, your explicit learning takes over your implicit learning. Explicit learning is something that happens within the realms of awareness. When you're first learning how to do something, and someone tells you the sequence in which to do it, you pick it up very quickly. You'll start off slow at first, but as you learn the pattern, you'll get faster and faster. Implicit learning, on the other hand, is when you pick something up outside the realms of awareness. No one tells you how to do it and you don't realize there is a pattern. You'll still pick it up just as fast, but this time unconsciously. Whether it's a sport or a math problem, you work it through in a very careful, mechanical way, but as you get better, your implicit system takes over. Eventually, you'll be doing it without even thinking.

These two systems are based on two different parts of your brain. Very separate traits. "The basal ganglia, where implicit learning partially resides, are concerned with force and timing, and when that system kicks in you begin to develop touch and accuracy, the ability to hit a drop shot or place a serve at a hundred miles per hour." Under conditions of stress, however, you revert back to the explicit system and you start thinking about how to do it again; you lose your touch. Even as a professional, you may revert back to a system you haven't relied on since you've been taught it--back to the streets of basketball, back as a Little Leaguer. You're choking.

Panicking, on the other hand, is something different altogether. Unlike choking, in which you're thinking too much, it's when you stop thinking. "Stress wipes out short-term memory. People with lots of experience tend not to panic, because when the stress suppresses their short-term memory they still have some residue of experience to draw on." However, when you panic, your mind draws a blank.

Panic also tends to cause something called perceptual narrowing. Under times of stress, your accuracy may not be affected, but your performance is only half as good because you tend to focus or obsess over one thing. For example--in the case that I, personally, cannot swim--you find yourself drifting away from the shoreline because the waves are too strong. Instead of realizing that kicking and screaming not only makes you swallow water but also weighs your body down, you're main focus is to stay above water by exerting as much energy as you can. As you're panicking, your mind fails to remind you that your body has the ability to float, especially in salt water.

I find myself intrigued in this topic of failure because it tells me that panicking and choking, something I used to use interchangeably, are worlds apart, bringing insight into why failure even happens. Sometimes, in times of an emergency, choking may actually be a good thing. Yes, you revert back to the external system in which you may perform much slower and less fluidly, but at least you're performing. Panicking reverts you back to instinct: to kick and scream above water. And sometimes, your instinct is just plain useless.

Panic, however, can also be a good thing in that it is conventional failure. Without a lot of experience, everyone has the ability to panic. It's explainable. If stress wipes out short-term memory, as mentioned before, then experience has the ability to wipe out panic. You know what's really funny though? Choking is paradoxical failure. Choking has less to do with who you are as a performer and more to do with the situation in which the performance takes place. And it's paradoxical because experience is exactly what doesn't work in your favor.

In a study about stereotype threat, Gladwell points out that under such conditions (i.e. a female interviewing for a man's job, a black student test-taking in a classroom full of white students) 'carefulness' and 'second-guessing' are methods the smartest people may use to bring them further away from intuition and quick processing and closer to failure. The best athletes sometimes fail, not because they're not experienced, but because they're actually good at what they do, and only those who care enough about their performance, and I mean really care, can break under pressure.
"...the ability to overcome the pressure of the spectators is part of what it means to be a champion. But the same ruthless inflexibility need not govern the rest of our lives. We have to learn that sometimes a poor performance reflects not the innate ability of the performer but the complexion of the audience; and that sometimes a poor test score is the sign not of a poor student but of a good one."
So, the next time I tell myself to "calm down, be more careful, and think harder" I may consider that I might be prescribing myself the wrong formula for the specific condition at hand. I also don't need stress to govern my life. I am good at what I do because of the gifts given me. Work at it diligently yet joyfully, because we, humans, are fearfully and wonderfully made.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

THE DAY-TO-DAY TRENCHES

Quote by a self-proclaimed atheist:

"In the day-to-day trenches of adult life, there is actually no such thing as atheism. There is no such thing as not worshipping. Everybody worships. The only choice we get is what to worship. And the compelling reason for maybe choosing some sort of god or spiritual-type thing to worship--be it JC or Allah, be it YHWH or the Wiccan Mother Goddess... is that pretty much anything else you worship will eat you alive.

If you worship money and things, if they are where you tap meaning in life, then you will never have enough, never feel you have enough. It's the truth. Worship your body and beauty and sexual allure and you will always feel ugly. And when time and age start showing, you will die a million deaths before they finally grieve you... Worship power and you will end up feeling weak and afraid, and you will need ever more power over others to numb you to your own fear. Worship your intellect, being seen as smart, you will end up feeling stupid, a fraud, always on the verge of being found out. But the insidious thing about these forms of worship is not that they're evil or sinful, it's that they're unconscious. They are default settings. They're the kind of worship you just gradually slip into, day after day, getting more and more selective about what you see and how you measure value without ever being fully aware that that's what you're doing. And the so-called real world of men and money and power hums merrily along in a pool of fear and anger and frustration and craving and worship of self."

— David Foster Wallace, American author, Kenyon College Commencement Address, 2005
(3 years prior to committing suicide in 2008 by hanging himself as a result of suffering from depression for almost 20 years)


"You shall have no other gods before me."
— Exodus 20:3

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

EUSTACE THE DRAGON

“Well, anyway, I looked up and saw the very last thing I expected: a huge lion coming slowly towards me. And one queer thing was that there was no moon last night, but there was moonlight where the lion was. So it came nearer and nearer. I was terribly afraid of it. You may think that, being a dragon, I could have knocked any lion out easily enough. But it wasn't that kind of fear. I wasn't afraid of it eating me, I was just afraid of it - if you can understand. Well, it came close up to me and looked straight into my eyes. And I shut my eyes tight. But that wasn't any good because it told me to follow it.”

“You mean it spoke?”

“I don't know. Now that you mention it, I don't think it did. But it told me all the same. And I knew I'd have to do what it told me, so I got up and followed it. And it led me a long way into the mountains. And there was always this moonlight over and round the lion wherever we went. So at last we came to the top of a mountain I'd never seen before and on the top of this mountain there was a garden - trees and fruit and everything. In the middle of it there was a well.

“I knew it was a well because you could see the water bubbling up from the bottom of it: but it was a lot bigger than most wells - like a very big, round bath with marble steps going down into it. The water was as clear as anything and I thought if I could get in there and bathe it would ease the pain in my leg. But the lion told me I must undress first. Mind you, I don't know if he said any words out loud or not.

“I was just going to say that I couldn't undress because I hadn't any clothes on when I suddenly thought that dragons are snaky sort of things and snakes can cast their skins. Oh, of course, thought I, that's what the lion means. So I started scratching myself and my scales began coming off all over the place. And then I scratched a little deeper and, instead of just scales coming off here and there, my whole skin started peeling off beautifully, like it does after an illness, or as if I was a banana. In a minute or two I just stepped out of it. I could see it lying there beside me, looking rather nasty. It was a most lovely feeling. So I started to go down into the well for my bathe.

“But just as I was going to put my feet into the water I looked down and saw that they were all hard and rough and wrinkled and scaly just as they had been before. Oh, that's all right, said I, it only means I had another smaller suit on underneath the first one, and I'll have to get out of it too. So I scratched and tore again and this underskin peeled off beautifully and out I stepped and left it lying beside the other one and went down to the well for my bathe.

“Well, exactly the same thing happened again. And I thought to myself, oh dear, how ever many skins have I got to take off? For I was longing to bathe my leg. So I scratched away for the third time and got off a third skin, just like the two others, and stepped out of it. But as soon as I looked at myself in the water I knew it had been no good.

“Then the lion said - but I don't know if it spoke – ‘You will have to let me undress you.’ I was afraid of his claws, I can tell you, but I was pretty nearly desperate now. So I just lay flat down on my back to let him do it.

“The very first tear he made was so deep that I thought it had gone right into my heart. And when he began pulling the skin off, it hurt worse than anything I've ever felt. The only thing that made me able to bear it was just the pleasure of feeling the stuff peel off. You know - if you've ever picked the scab off a sore place. It hurts like billy-oh but it is such fun to see it coming away.”

“I know exactly what you mean,” said Edmund.

“Well, he peeled the beastly stuff right off - just as I thought I'd done it myself the other three times, only they hadn't hurt - and there it was lying on the grass: only ever so much thicker, and darker, and more knobbly-looking than the others had been. And there was I as smooth and soft as a peeled switch and smaller than I had been. Then he caught hold of me - I didn't like that much for I was very tender underneath now that I'd no skin on - and threw me into the water. It smarted like anything but only for a moment. After that it became perfectly delicious and as soon as I started swimming and splashing I found that all the pain had gone from my arm. And then I saw why. I'd turned into a boy again. You'd think me simply phoney if I told you how I felt about my own arms. I know they've no muscle and are pretty mouldy compared with Caspian's, but I was so glad to see them.

“After a bit the lion took me out and dressed me –“

“Dressed you. With his paws?”

“Well, I don't exactly remember that bit. But he did somehow or other: in new clothes - the same I've got on now, as a matter of fact. And then suddenly I was back here. Which is what makes me think it must have been a dream.”

“No. It wasn't a dream,” said Edmund.

“Why not?”

“Well, there are the clothes, for one thing. And you have been - well, un-dragoned, for another.”

“What do you think it was, then?” asked Eustace.

“I think you've seen Aslan,” said Edmund.


— C.S. Lewis, The Voyage of the Dawn Treader (Chapter 7)

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

FROM FEAR TO FREEDOM

"Presumptive self-confidence may look like faith, but it has a very different spiritual root (Jer. 17:5-10). Faith and presumption look alike because both qualities are characterized by confidence... [But] what does presumptive faith depend on for its existence? It must have positive circumstances and feelings of success based on visible accomplishments. So when God wants to reach us, he must take away those favorable circumstances and accomplishments." (p.16-17)

"Spiritual orphans see themselves as humble sufferers in their emotional pain. But in fact they are simply closed off people who are too proud and fearful (the two are closely related) to admit failure, imperfections, and sins, and acknowledge their complete dependence on God." (p.18)

"...to acknowledge wrong or extend forgiveness--the two things fallen people desperately need, and the two things self-righteous people cannot bring themselves to do." (p.33)

"Why didn't I grieve... over my failed relationship with... ? The answer lies in my self-protective religious outlook. As a religious moralist I understood grace as seen as an add-on to my strength. I could not admit that I was flawed in my close personal relationships and needed powerful intervention from above. I was the self-dependent Pharisee. My primary supports were family tradition, an outwardly obedient religious life, and my proven moral character." (p.42)

"I held on--almost desperately now--to my view of myself as the wounded innocent, still caught in the vicious circle of blaming my circumstances, reacting with negative feelings to these circumstances by flight, and then, by the analysis of my feelings, acting like a victim. I had not yet clearly seen my sin as being against God." (p.50)

"Frustrations can cripple us or lead us to ask revelatory questions. We have a choice. A right response leads us to reject the role of victim." (p. 53)

— Rose Marie Miller, From Fear to Freedom (1994)

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

PRETTY IN PINK

Dad, you are one lucky man.

Monday, May 31, 2010

DEAR CHILD...

It's that time of year. The season of Camp has officially begun, and I couldn't be more excited. I could be moving up in my career-ladder by interning in New York City or seizing life's pleasures by traveling the other side of the world's hemisphere (which, don't get me wrong, I would love to do...), but there's nothing like coming back to Camp each year and wondering how on earth I became part of such a grace-based ministry, accepted to serve with such unique brothers and sisters, coming in from all walks of life, be it a 30-something-year-old Harvard alum or a 20-something-year-old fashion designer (to-be). Looking at my own record, there's seriously nothing I've done or have that the next person couldn't do or offer, but I'm here, called to contribute that single note in an entire symphonic piece, and for a lack of better words, I feel grateful.

I used to think Camp existed for my sentimentality. As if Camp was a place where I could accelerate my own spiritual growth, a place I could come back to and say "What I've learned here,
now I can go apply to my real life somewhere else..." Quite foolish, really, and really immature. I'm slowly learning how blessed I really am, through the relationships I'm building on year after year, and more importantly, through my understanding of Christ's life, death, resurrection, and the implications that has on me being adopted into a family, empty-handed...
"I write to you, dear children,
because your sins have been forgiven on account of his name.
I write to you, fathers,
because you have known him who is from the beginning.
I write to you, young men,
because you have overcome the evil one.
I write to you, dear children,
because you have known the Father.
I write to you, fathers,
because you have known him who is from the beginning.
I write to you, young men,
because you are strong,
and the word of God lives in you,
and you have overcome the evil one."
1 John 2:12-14
At Camp orientation, this passage was shared about the different levels of spiritual maturity people may be in, despite how long they've actually been a Christian. It struck me pretty hard, that reading it literally I would probably identify myself as a "young man" given my age and background, but after hearing the description, I don't think I quite fit the part. A father is someone who's spiritually mature, someone who's tested the Word of God in each stage of life and fully knows the Father in His faithfulness. A young man is someone who's currently testing the Word of God through his sins, fears, and failures, and is overcoming "the evil one", learning to be strong and persevere through life's many circumstances. A child, on the other hand, is described as someone who's joyful because his sins have been forgiven, but lacking in maturity because he's not consistently grounded on the Word of God, being easily tossed around the waves of this world as a result.

I'm still a child. There's a difference between picking encouraging verses out to comfort me when I want it, reading chapters and parts whenever I'm convicted to hear God's voice again, versus being consistent and knowing God's Word by
heart--so much so that whatever I go through, I can align my struggles in view of God's love, my sins in view of God's mercy, and my strengths in view of God's grace. But I'm blessed with community to teach me the difference. I hope that with this opportunity of yet another summer break, I can learn to do the latter and be the "young man" that Christ showed us all to be.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

"Soon and very soon
I'll be going to the place He has prepared for me
There my sin erased, my shame forgotten
Soon and very soon
I will be with the one I love
With unveiled face I'll see Him
There my soul with be satisfied
Soon and very soon"

— Hillsong United, Soon

“And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord’s glory,
are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory,
which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.”

— 2 Corinthians 3:18

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

WAKE UP

"There is a way that seems right to a man,
but in the end it leads to death."
— Proverbs 14:12

"'Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed;
a man's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions."
— Luke 12:15

"For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it. What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul?"
— Mark 8:35-37

"Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life."
— Galatians 6:7-8

"...for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God..."
— Romans 3:23

"You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."
— Romans 5:6-8

"...it is written:
'No eye has seen,
no ear has heard,
no mind has conceived
what God has prepared for those who love him'"
— 1 Corinthians 2:6-9

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

MERCY, NOT SACRIFICE

I sincerely fear waking up and getting out of bed in the mornings. For an entire week I've woken up feeling half-paralyzed, the other half aching in every joint in my body, particularly my knees and my ankles. I can't even sit to pee in the mornings (sorry for the visual), let alone get back up to finish, which makes me take peeing in a bowl for granted, something I used to joke about after my stays at the hospital. I've gotten the hang of this routine of waking up, feeling it, crying for a bit, finally getting up after trying for half an hour, going to the kitchen to get something to eat before popping ibuprofen pills, attempting to get back into bed and lay down with the least amount of pain possible, then falling back asleep, hoping to wake up to the healing power of over-the-counter medicine. Last night I was in bed for 19 hours. After 12 hours, I got up for meds and fell back asleep for another 7. That's almost an entire day. Then usually by nightfall, I have the fattest ankles but I feel okay until the next morning. I'm quite proud of myself to be doing it alone... only four days ago I was waking my roommate up, begging in tears to help me do something about it. Anyways, to keep this short, this post was really written with the intent on sharing these next set of words from the books of Matthew and Luke. If everything happens for a reason, then this past week has been (and after three ER visits and countless meds, needles, bloodwork, urine samples, you-name-it, this past year has been...) so I can better relate to Christ's perfect work here on earth for our brokenness:

"As Jesus went on from there, he saw a man named Matthew sitting at the tax collector's booth. "Follow me," he told him, and Matthew got up and followed him.
While Jesus was having dinner at Matthew's house, many tax collectors and "sinners" came and ate with him and his disciples. When the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, 'Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and 'sinners'?
On hearing this, Jesus said, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. But go and learn what this means: 'I desire mercy, not sacrifice.' For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.
— Matthew 9:9-13

How good is He who is faithful enough to beat humility down into our bodies and mind until we understand it in our hearts:

"To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everybody else, Jesus told this parable: "Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood up and prayed about himself: 'God, I thank you that I am not like other men—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.' 
"But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, 'God, have mercy on me, a sinner.'
"I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted." 
— Luke 18:9-14

Sunday, May 16, 2010

She would change everything, everything, just ask her,
Caught in the in-between, a beautiful disaster,
She just needs someone to take her home.

Jon McLaughlin, Beautiful Disaster

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Whatever you do,
work at it with all your heart,
 
as working for the LORD,
not for men,

 since you know that you will receive
an inheritance from the Lord as a reward.
 
It is the Lord Christ you are serving.

-- Colossians 3:23-24

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

THE SECRET

"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And by the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me--put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

I rejoice greatly in the Lord that at last you have renewed your concern for me. Indeed, you have been concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength."

-- Apostle Paul, Philippians 4:4-13

Sunday, April 18, 2010

THE WEIGHT OF GLORY

'Well done, thou good and faithful servant.' . . . no one can enter heaven except as a child; . . . Apparently what I had mistaken for humility had, all these years, prevented me from understanding what is in fact the humblest, the most childlike, the most creaturely of pleasures--nay, the specific pleasure of the inferior: the pleasure of a beast before men, a child before its father, a pupil before his teacher, a creature before its Creator. I am not forgetting how horribly this most innocent desire is parodied in our human ambitions, or how very quickly, in my own experience, the lawful pleasure of praise from those whom it was my duty to please turns into the deadly poison of self-admiration.
- - -
But I thought I could detect a moment--a very, very short moment--before this happened, during which the satisfaction of having pleased those whom I rightly loved and rightly feared was pure. And that is enough to raise our thoughts to what may happen when the redeemed soul, beyond all hope and nearly beyond belief, learns at last that she has pleased Him whom she was created to please. There will be no room for vanity then. She will be free from the miserable illusion that it is her doing. With no taint of what we should now call self-approval she will most innocently rejoice in the thing that God has made her to be, and the moment which heals her old inferiority complex forever will drown her pride deeper than Prospero's book. Perfect humility dispenses with modesty. If God is satisfied with the work, the work may be satisfied with itself; . . .
- - -
I read in a periodical the other day that the fundamental thing is how we think of God. By God Himself, it is not! How God thinks of us is far more important. Indeed, how we think of Him is of no importance except insofar as it is related to how He thinks of us. It is written that we shall "stand before" Him, shall appear, shall be inspected. The promise of glory is the promise, almost incredible and only possible by the work of Christ, that some of us, that any of us who really chooses, shall actually survive that examination, shall find approval, shall please God. To please God...to be a real ingredient in the divine happiness...to be loved by God, not merely pitied, but delighted in as an artist delights in his work or a father in a son--it seems impossible, a weight or burden of glory, which our thoughts can hardly sustain. But it is so . . .
- - -
It may be possible for each to think too much of his own potential glory hereafter; it is hardly possible for him to think too often or too deeply about that of his neighbour. The load, or weight, or burden of my neighbour's glory should be laid on my back, a load so heavy that only humility can carry it, and the backs of the proud will be broken . . .
- - -
There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilasations--these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit--immortal horrors or everlasting splendours . . . our charity must be real and costly love with deep feeling for the sins in spite of which we love the sinner--no mere tolerance, or indulgence which parodies love as flippancy parodies merriment. Next to the Blessed Sacrament itself, your neighbour is the holiest object presented to your senses. If he is your Christian neighbour, he is holy in almost the same way, for in him also Christ vere latitat--the glorifier and the glorified, Glory Himself, is truly hidden.

— C.S. Lewis, The Weight of Glory (1965)

Friday, April 9, 2010

LOVE THE SINNER, HATE THE SIN

Naomi Campbell, Vogue Russia April 2010, Photo by Willy Vanderperre

"Fear-based repentance makes us hate ourselves.
Joy-based repentance makes us hate the sin."

— Timothy Keller, Counterfeit Gods (2009)

Monday, March 22, 2010

Thursday, February 25, 2010

THE REAL THING

"If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world. If none of my earthly pleasures satisfy it, that does not prove that the universe is a fraud. Probably earthly pleasures were never meant to satisfy it, but only to arouse it, to suggest the real thing. If that is so, I must take care, on the one hand, never to despise, or be unthankful for, these earthly blessings, and on the other, never to mistake them for the something else of which they are only a kind of copy, or echo, or mirage..."

— C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

Monday, February 22, 2010

ROOT BELOW, FRUIT ABOVE


“Listen then to what the parable of the sower means: When anyone hears the message about the kingdom and does not understand it, the evil one comes and snatches away what was sown in their heart. This is the seed sown along the path. The seed falling on rocky ground refers to someone who hears the word and at once receives it with joy. But since they have no root, they last only a short time. When trouble or persecution comes because of the word, they quickly fall away. The seed falling among the thorns refers to someone who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke the word, making it unfruitful. But the seed falling on good soil refers to someone who hears the word and understands it. This is the one who produces a crop, yielding a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown.”

— Matthew 13:18-23

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

GROWTH, BY NATURE

“The proper rewards are not simply tacked on to the activity for which they are given, but are the activity itself in consummation.

…but we who have not yet attained it cannot know this in the same way, and cannot even begin to know it at all except by continuing to obey and finding the first reward of our obedience in our increasing power to desire the ultimate reward. Just in proportion as the desire grows, our fear lest it should be a mercenary desire will die away and finally be recognised as an absurdity. But probably this will not, for most of us, happen in a day; poetry replaces grammar, gospel replaces law, longing transforms obedience, as gradually as the tide lifts a grounded ship.”

— C.S. Lewis, The Weight of Glory (p. 27-28)

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

SWEET HOME PHILADELPHIA


On our drive towards the heart of Philadelphia to attend the newly married couple’s wedding reception.
The roads may have been icy but it was one of the ‘warmest’ days all year.

“There are only two ways to live your life.
One is as though nothing is a miracle.
The other is as though everything is a miracle.”

— Albert Einstein

Monday, February 8, 2010

WEDDING IN NARNIA


Donny & Angela Cho, married 02.06.10 at Presbyterian Church of Chestnut Hill, PA

“And we, who with unveiled faces
all reflect the Lord’s glory,
are being transformed into his likeness
with ever-increasing glory,
which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.”

— 2 Corinthians 3:18

Thursday, January 28, 2010

TOGETHER IN THEIR 50's


I think I’m finally hitting that god-forsaken age after the spoiled stages of childhood, the rebellious stages of teen-hood, and the independent stages of college and young adulthood when I mean it when I say that I love being home and that I sincerely miss my parents when I’m back at school. It’s really quite sad that the only thing I feel moved to blog about these days are my parents and their relationship, but I’m so thankful for them and their labor of love; and the way it’s constantly making me reflect on the reality of God’s love for me exemplified through my parents’ love in my life… brings me to tears just thinking about it.

In God’s own word’s, life is best lived as a poor beggar brought in to eat at the King’s table and to live in the riches of a prodigal King, disciplined by thankfulness for the rest of the beggar’s life, than left alone as a spoiled child, a rebellious teenager, or even an independent adult outside the palace walls. What’s more moving than to know the King himself, or rather that He knows you, when you yourself “were dead in your transgressions and sins…” – dead man walking, busy with work and life and friends, apathetic to most things outside ourselves – “…but because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God…” (Ephesians 2:1-8)

Malcolm Gladwell, in his book Outliers, suggests that 95% of who we are as a person is outside of our control. That includes our geographical location and our genetics, both determined by birth (i.e. my parents). The rest left to personal choice. I want to choose… a disciplined life of thankfulness for the gifts God’s given me, the greatest of all being Christ (as emphasized over and over in that small passage alone), remembering to look back at what’s past, to look around to what’s given, and to look forward to the incomparable riches of his grace to come.

Monday, January 18, 2010

HAPPY 50


My mom watering the bouquet I gave her for her 50th birthday–
I think my little brother put the flower in her hair. Too cute.

The look on her face when she walked in and found the family unexpectedly waiting at the table for her… I could re-live that moment over and over again. Five minutes of a surprise to see a smile on the face of someone who’s sacrificed their entire life for you.

My definition of priceless.

Friday, January 15, 2010

NEW BOOK

I’ve been reading ‘Counterfeit Gods’ by Timothy Keller recently and it’s been nothing but a breath of fresh air. It’s been helping me to really ‘see for myself’ the realities of my deepest sins and my most precious idols that I know he’s been asking me to acknowledge and revisit and re-evaluate, to reaffirm the consequences of past sins and recognize potential ones, and to eventually just let go… all in light of this ongoing lesson of grace, written in plain text all throughout Scripture, shown through the weakest of characters and the heaviest of sinners. It’s like I’m reading and my mind’s doing somersaults and cartwheels in my head, trying to wrap my fallible human brain around this concept of mercy, and then grace. Mercy, and then grace.

If you’re interested, buy yourself a copy and read along. We can discuss it when we’re finished.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

CHEERS!

(Wendy’s ‘welcome back from Cali for the week’ with most of the women from Camp)

A little while after our ‘cheers’, our food started to arrive and one of us forcefully thanked the other to pray. After some laughter, we bowed our heads and allowed the mood to change as any prayer usually does. She thanked God for the food and the time of fellowship, and then acknowledged our many different paths in life and what a blessing it was to be able to get together during such times. As best as I can remember, I quote: ‘…with one of us returning from Cali, another recently coming out of the hospital, and yet another getting ready to be married in a few weeks…‘ It all seemed quite crazy. With some of us working full-time and others still in school, she prayed that we would all ‘encourage one another‘ wherever life takes us and whatever it puts us through. My definition of family.

“If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. 
Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: 
Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God
something to be grasped,
but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
and became obedient to death—
even death on a cross! 
Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
and gave him the name that is above every name,
that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father.” 
— Philippians 2:1-11

From all four corners of the world (kinda)… Cheers.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

LOVE ACTUALLY

It’s been five nights since I’ve been out of the hospital, but the past five nights felt like five weeks. I’ve been prescribed to these medications that won’t let me live a normal life and they’re driving me up the wazoo. One’s Cipro, every 8 hours, and the other’s Flagyl, every 12 hours. If you do the math and put them together, that’s 6am. 8am. 2pm. 8pm. 10pm. And never on an empty stomach. The discipline of watching the clock is the easiest part. It’s the dizziness, headache, and incredible amount of nausea that they both leave me with that I can’t seem to get through. Nausea 24/7. I spent 20 minutes in the bathroom around 7 this morning, head hung over the toilet like it was my job. By 7 this evening, I was ready to call it quits and chuck my medicine out the door, but then in walks my dear beloved parents…

I get up from my unsuccessful nap as they walk in from their long day’s hard work, and after moaning about my present condition, my dad starts poking fun at my mom on cue in an attempt to distract me of my pains. He starts complimenting my weight loss and turns the attention towards my mom about how she’s getting fatter while he pokes at her mid-section. She then turns to me to say that she’s only like that because your dad (emphasis on the ‘your’) keeps buying fried chicken all day during work and has no choice but to eat beside him. With eyes half open, I watched them as they playfully harassed each other for my sake, and amidst the throbbing headache and constant nausea, I was able to laugh. I guess you could say the warm fuzzy feeling that most people refer to as love (in the non-cheesiest way possible) overrode the knots in my stomach, and I was able to fall asleep, successfully distracted by thoughts of kindness.

I’m obviously not writing this to say that I have it so bad, because in comparison to other pains, I know I don’t. But I write as a reminder to myself that I actually have it pretty good, in the most undeserving way… and that love actually, not only works in your favor, but is the medicine to all diseases, if you’re willing to acknowledge it.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

NEW YEAR'S EVE


44 needles. 1 blessing reminder.
“Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows, yet we considered him stricken by God, smitten by him, and afflicted. But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed.”
— Isaiah 53:4-5

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

DIGNITY FOR CHARACTER


A week straight of ice chips for breakfast, lunch, and dinner will get the message across. After fasting 40 days and 40 nights, Jesus was tempted by the devil in the wilderness with bread (earthly satisfaction), power, and all the world’s riches. Jesus answered, ‘Man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.’ Matthew 4:4. The ESV notes that while God clearly never tempts anyone to do evil, he will use circumstances to test a person’s character. Also, although the devil will intend to thwart God’s plan and purposes, God is big enough to use his evil intentions for good.

There were moments in the past two weeks that I felt I straight lost my dignity. I cried like a baby for nights in a row for just one shot of morphine. My mom showered me down like I was her grandmother and not her 22 year old daughter. My little brother wiped the sweat off my back as I awoke from fever chills every night- by every hour. But by the words that come from the mouth of God I couldn’t question that I knew… He was working on my character.

“To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
— 2 Corinthians 12:7-10